Aging Is an Attitude:

An Interview with Cec Murphey


By Dr. Jay Zinn


 

I met Cecil Murphey eighteen years ago. He was old when I met him and he’s older still, but hasn’t aged a day since. He always eats healthy, runs and walks several miles a day, and he’s one of the smartest and wisest men I know—yet humble. As a mentor and friend to me, I couldn’t think of a better candidate to interview for the theme of this issue, especially since he’s written an incredibly insightful book called, Aging Is an Attitude. Enjoy!

—Jay Zinn

 


 

You are now 80 years old and still going strong. Do you believe this is a physical gift from family genes, or do you have specific health habits you’ve applied to your life?


Both. Several of my aunts and uncles on my father’s side lived into their 90s (although few of my mother’s people hit 80). When I was in my 40s, God dealt with me and I’ve since thought of my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. I had a few minor health issues, such as nearing the medication stage for high blood pressure. After I began a regular exercise program, my blood pressure went down, and I was healthier. I’ve maintained that regimen ever since. At age 80, I take no medications, still run (or walk) every day. I believe God has honored my commitment.


What biblical principles have you applied that have contributed to your quality of life?


The verse that started my change was 1 Corinthians 10:31. “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (New Living Translation). 1 Corinthians 3:16 and 6:19 point out that our bodies are God’s temple. Romans 12:1 says clearly to present our bodies as living sacrifices, but we tend to ignore that part of the verse or spiritualize it.


What prompted you to write Aging Is an Attitude?


I was getting older and I didn’t like it. The media portrayed older people as crabby and constipated. I didn’t want to be associated with that stereotype.


I assume from the title of your book that attitude is the key to aging well. Which attitude do you consider the most important?


No one ever asked that before, but my answer is to develop an attitude of thanksgiving. I pause at least 3 times each day to count 10 things for which I’m thankful. They’re often little things because I want to remind myself that I have more than enough food, clothing, heat, and air conditioning—and those are God’s daily blessings. The more I cultivate appreciating what God is doing and has done in my life, the more I enjoy my life.


People in their 50s have gone through significant challenges in life. With these come multiple opportunities to tackle disappointments, financial struggles, tragedy, crisis in marriage, family, aging parents, career changes, health issues, and fear of the future in their aging. How did you make adjustments and tackle such challenges at that age? Also, did it get easier or harder over the last two decades?


I was 21 when I became a believer. When I turned to Jesus Christ, I realized the difference God had already made in my life. I’ve failed many times, but I truly try to learn from those failures.


For many years, here’s one sentence I’ve prayed: “God, heal the parts of me that don’t want to be healed.”
Another thing that helped me was forgiving others. One Sunday when I was 49 years old, I was preaching. As my gaze swept over the congregation Alton sat in the fifth row. He had said unkind things about me that hurt my feelings. Just then, I thought, “Yes, but I’m sure he didn’t think he was doing anything evil.” Just to see that matter from his perspective took away my pain. I felt genuine compassion for him.


Since then, I’ve tried to live that way. With few exceptions, I believe most people do wrong things, but in their minds they have a way to justify their behavior. (I know I have.)


Has it gotten easier? Definitely. I’ve mellowed, especially during the past five years. I’m more tolerant of others’ failure.


You have said in your book that older people tend to think that “exploration and discovery is the domain of the young.” The Bible, however, says that when the Holy Spirit is in a person’s life, “young men will see visions, [and] old men will dream dreams” (Acts 2:17c). How do you respond to that type of thinking?


Like the biblical concept, I’m still learning and growing. I never want to reach the end of growing. I want to keep discovering new things about God, the Bible, myself, and others.


Almost every week I meet with my best friend, David, for up to two hours. We talk only about ourselves and where we are. We challenge each other and often have to say hard things to each other.


One time I said jokingly, “Why do you tell me things I don’t want to know?”


“Because you need to know and you’re ready to hear them,” David said.


He was right. Because I know he wants what’s best for me, I can “hear” things from him I might otherwise resist.


You seem to have learned to “take time for yourself.” Whenever I am with you, I have seen such a peace in you and you always have time to stop and talk or email me. I’ve also experienced times when you have said, without hesitation, “my plate’s too full for that, so here’s what I suggest . . .” Did this ability to create margins in your life for yourself come easily, or did you have to discipline yourself to know when to say “no” as you became older and wiser about the demands you or other people once placed on yourself?


I’ve had to learn to set boundaries and make time for myself. Shirley, my wife, has been my best teacher. She knows when she doesn’t want to do something and says no quietly and simply. I don’t do it as well as she does, but I’m learning.


For the past five years, I stop working at noon on Saturday and don’t go back to my job until Monday morning. I still accomplish everything I need to do and relax more. My blood pressure readings exemplify the change. This morning, for instance, my blood pressure was 116/72.


Though this topic is more involved than these few questions can cover (and you cover more in your book), are there any parting thoughts on “aging well” that I didn’t ask about in this interview?


Be kind to yourself. Most of us treat ourselves harshly and speak to ourselves unkindly. When I do something badly or fail, instead of castigating myself, I’ve learned to say to myself, “This is not your usual form of behavior.” Simple, isn’t it?

 

 

Dr. Jay Zinn lives in the college town of Davidson, NC where he pastors River’s Edge Church. He is also a freelance, published artist and the author of the novel The Unveiling. For more information you may visit his websites at www.jayzinn.com and www.jayzinnart.com

 

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